I’ve been a cook for most of my life; although, looking back, I wouldn’t say I was any good at it in the early days. I grew up in Texas, so my usual fare leans toward Southern American cuisine. But I like to make dishes from other parts of the world, like France, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan, and Morocco. If you have a well-stocked kitchen you will most likely have many ingredients on hand, like dried herbs (or a small herb garden), some root vegetables, butter, eggs, milk, and maybe even buttermilk, flour, corn starch, and rice. The list will keep growing, but it’s important to make sure you have fresh ingredients. Even flour gets stale after a while, so unless you use it regularly, you might find yourself throwing it out.
For anyone who is new to cooking it might seem like it isn’t worth the trouble or the expense. I remember encountering this when my sister-in-law, who had never cooked before, decided she wanted to make something from scratch. Following a recipe she trusted, she compiled a list of everything she would need to buy, which was just about everything in the recipe. She complained about how expensive it was to obtain all the ingredients, saying it was going to cost her more to cook the meal than it would to just order something from a restaurant. She became very discouraged after projecting this cost over time, not considering that many of the items on her list were enough to make other meals many times over. When you weigh the initial cost of stocking your kitchen you might be discouraged at first, because it is an expensive endeavor. Now I shop at a market where one can buy items in bulk. That means I don’t pay extra for the container. A jar of bay leaves can cost more than $4 or $5. You can buy enough of them in bulk to last for months of cooking stews and soups, and the cost can be just a few cents. This strategy can mitigate the initial pain of setting up for cooking at home, but be prepared to spend some money.
You really have to make it a part of your lifestyle to make this worthwhile. If you only intend to cook for a night or for a holiday celebration, expect to spend more than you wanted in order to make one meal. Of course it depends on what you’re cooking. And some dishes call for special cookware, like a roasting pan, a sauteuse pan, or a spaetzle maker. You just might need a Tajine pot once in a while. For someone learning to cook, I would recommend purchasing a standard frying pan, a medium sauce pan, a baking dish, measuring cups and spoons, and serving/cooking utensils. Many recipes advise to use a wooden spoon, so pick up some of those while you’re at it. Also it would be a good idea to get a decent cork screw, because people like to bring wine to parties. Okay, so now you’ve spent about $300, and we haven’t talked about ingredients. Let’s say you’re going to make Chicken Saltimbocca, because you saw it on Instagram or some shit. You’re going to need a mallet to pound flat the chicken breasts. (I don’t know why someone would make this for their first attempt at cooking, but go with it). After flattening the chicken breast pieces, you’ll want to select some large fresh sage leaves, and place two each on the pieces of chicken. Then place thin prosciutto slices over the top, pressing them so that they kind of adhere. Dredge the chicken-sage-prosciutto assembly in flour and cook in a hot pan with butter and olive oil, top side down. See? Simple.
I won’t go into the rest of this dish here. There is a sauce that goes on top, and it’s divine. I’d recommend some sides, like sautéed Brussels sprouts with garlic, or grilled ratatouille salad. Mashed potatoes are nice, or maybe try baba ganoush. But this is your first time cooking, so perhaps keep it much simpler, and make baked ziti. Pasta dishes are far more forgiving, and you probably already have some of the necessary ingredients and cooking utensils anyway.
By now you have probably managed to silence the smoke detectors by opening a few windows. My aforementioned relative was not very attentive and decided to go outside for a cigarette while the onions apparently sautéed themselves! Cooking requires patience and perseverance. If you fuck it up, just scrape it off the pan and call it a learning experience. I’ve burnt many dishes, but I used that ordeal as a way of remembering how not to make something. My early attempts at making pancakes, for instance, taught me that the batter is best if simply combined, not thoroughly mixed. Too much stirring makes them tough and unpalatable. This is just one of innumerable lessons you will only remember if they happen to you, so my advice is to just start cooking.
Start with some basic dishes and work up from there. Don’t declare that you’re going to make Thanksgiving dinner next year if you’ve never successfully boiled eggs or made coffee. You need to craw before you can walk, as the saying goes. Better yet, be a helper in the kitchen for someone who has cooked for a crowd. Don’t be too proud to peel potatoes or chop celery. It’s probably the best experience you will get for free. You can of course sign up for cooking classes, but it is my opinion that you will learn more by jumping in and trying it out.
Some of my friends have come to me for advice about specific dishes. They call me to ask how long they should let things boil, or what a loaf looks like when it’s ready to bake. I’m happy to help. It makes me happy to know that people are willing to put in the effort to make a meal from scratch. I like to give them some motivation to stretch by trying to make something they’ve never considered. If something scares you, a mentor told me once, then you know you will grow from the experience. Remaining well within your comfort zone will keep you from becoming a better cook in time. You may gain confidence, which will inspire you to make something exotic and unexpected. You might have to special order some spice or a particular cooking implement. You might have to drive some distance to get the right ingredient, maybe even traveling to a coastal town for fresh fish or oysters (probably difficult if you live in Nebraska). I don’t eat a lot of fish, living about 500 km from the sea. But frozen fish isn’t as bad as some people claim.
Now that you’ve stocked your kitchen, and you’ve successfully made a few dishes (and people enjoyed them), you’re a cook. Keep going, and you will discover how good food can be. You might find that you have lists of favorite dishes to make and a different list of favorites to eat. After the pandemic is history, you can invite people for a tasting party where you make small batches of many things, and everyone gets a few bites of everything. Have a good selection of paired wines, a nice offering of cheese and fresh-baked breads, and crudités. You will be very popular. Invite a couple of guests to assist, and provide them with small gifts for their extra effort. Set a table with cloth napkins and even chargers if you desire. Some people insist on having the correct glass for each wine, but nowadays that doesn’t seem to be so important. Make sure your guests have enough to eat. See that they are safe to drive home, too. That’s very important. If you have the space for it, you can set up sleeping arrangements for inebriated or exhausted dinner guests, even if that means crashing on the sofa.
Bon appétit!
Bebop Marmaduke 
