Breathe In, Breathe Out

We don’t really need to think about some basic things, like breathing and blinking and reflex actions. But we can be made aware of them, and then we are suddenly conscious of our breathing and how often we blink our eyes. The part of the human brain that regulates these activities, along with our heart rate, is the brain stem at the base of the brain. We don’t have to “think” about breathing because we need to rest and sleep. This part of the central nervous system takes over so we can focus on other things.

But sometimes it is important to take control of these otherwise automatic controls. Purposeful relaxation is a powerful tool we have at our disposal. And it’s very simple, requiring very little practice. The key is to remove distractions in your environment. Turn off the TV or music player. Perhaps turn on a fan to create a white noise background. Sit comfortably and focus on your body. Now, this is often called “mindful meditation”, and don’t let that bother you. This practice has been around for a very long time, and it is not bad for you. The first thing I like to do is pay attention to how I’m breathing. Am I breathing evenly? Or am I taking quick, shallow breaths? Next, I look for signs of tension. I notice my forehead is tight with wrinkles. I loosen it and move down to my ears and eyes. After relaxing my head, I notice my jaw is still tight. The I pay attention to my neck muscles, loosening as I travel around my body, breathing in and out.

My arms are relaxed now, and my feet are too, planted on the floor. My shoulders have shed any tension. And my hands are at rest. I take an additional survey of everything once more, making sure I haven’t left something all tightened up and tense. After several minutes I’m aware of the sound of the refrigerator, which I normally do not notice. I also hear the house making sounds as it braces against the high wind tonight. The wind chimes on the porch are tuned to the key of G major, which is nice. The wind comes in gusts, but I am not alarmed. My automatic reflexes kicked in, and I swallowed. Interesting. And I am aware now of my blinking.

Some people like to do this while sitting on a blanket in the park on a sunny day. Others prefer a bench under a tree. Anywhere is fine as long as the distractions are not overwhelming. To some the exuberance of children playing is too much. For others the sound of traffic is grating. You will find your ideal place. And eventually you may find you can handle those distractions and even incorporate them into the meditation, like with my refrigerator and wind chimes. One of the best locations I have ever found was the Oconaluftee River in North Carolina as it meanders through Cherokee. There are shallow spots with smooth pebbles where one can stand in cool water ankle-deep and get lost in the relaxation of it.

We would be wise to allow ourselves to just be still and relax occasionally. I have a pretty stressful life, and without this exercise I don’t know how I would manage it. My inventory of my self at the moment I am writing this tells me my mouth is dry. I’m going to address my needs now. So, remember to breathe even if you don’t really don’t need to think about it. Because if you stop to take notice, you’ll probably realize you had stopped breathing and blinking, especially if you were playing a video game.

What is it You Need?

It’s not the correct size!

I don’t know where my needs align with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but I need things to work properly. I definitely have most if not all my other needs met; I eat well (probably too much), I sleep through the night generally, and I have friends and family. I also have a washing machine to clean my clothes (it’s stuck on cold water, but ok). I live in a really safe place, and I feel secure when I go out.

I am a photographer. Not a professional, but I take my hobby seriously. Lately I returned to shooting with film cameras. Sometimes it’s referred to as analog photography, because that is one antonym of digital. But analog is usually associated with things like sound recordings (i.e., vinyl records) or clocks and watches that have hands, as opposed to a Casio. With photography the act of shooting with film is a more mechanical process, but it’s not really analog. (A SmarterEveryDay video explains in some detail how film photography works.) A digital camera still has a shutter and aperture. The difference is in what medium is used to capture the light.

Mamiya 645 with Sekor 80mm f1.9 lens

I began adding more film cameras to my collection, and now I have three medium format cameras (120 film) – a Holga 120N, Yashica-D, and most recently I acquired a Mamiya 645. I’ve just started shooting with it, and I love the feel, but it’s really heavy. I like to shoot in low-light situations, so I use a tripod to stabilize the camera. Problem solved. But my tripod requires special plates to mount the camera. And I only have two of them. So I need more.

There’s that word again, need. Why do I need anything? I suppose I should say I have a strong desire for additional accessories. Lacking extras does not constitute a hardship by any means. I can just as easily transfer the quick-release plate from one camera to another. But a photographer needs to be properly equipped. Thus I ordered some more, but they were the wrong size.

I guess what I really mean to say is that need is a very subjective state. I had a co-worker who often responded to someone stating their need for one thing or another with, “you need Jesus!” Okay. But you also need rest, and you need to take care of your health. And you need to take a break. We need something to break the monotony, the endless repetition of bad news and worse news. We need a diversion.

I’m thankful that I have photography. I love the results I get with just the right light and subject. I love shooting on film because I feel like the medium captures light and shadow in ways that a digital sensor cannot. Besides, I am more conscious of my shots, knowing that there is a cost associated with exposing a frame, and there is a finite limit of shots I can take. Sure, a memory card has limits, too. But I’ll shoot 10,000 pictures, and only 7 will be keepers. It’s about the same result with a roll of film, but that’s limited to 36 exposures at the most, fewer with medium format.

A few weeks ago I carried my Mamiya out to the country to my friend’s house near the lake. I set up to take some low-light shots, and I think I got some good ones in there. And that brings with it some pleasant anticipation, knowing there is latent image stored on the medium, and I’m eager to see how it will turn out. The instant gratification of a digital photo wears off rather quickly. With film I must wait until I reach the end of the roll, then more waiting for the processing (I don’t have the proper setup). I keep a journal of when and where I took the picture, along with the f-stop and shutter speed. Every time I load new film, I star a new page. I can go back years and see where I was when I shot a picture, despite having a visual record of it. It adds another dimension to the exercise, and I enjoy doing it.

I would say this fits within the boundaries of Maslow’s view. I believe I just described my own need for self-actualization, “exploitation of talents, capabilities, potentialities.” I would feel some emptiness without the joy photography brings me. That’s the real need here. I could probably fulfill that need with one small camera, my Holga, for instance. But I’m not content there. I need to advance, to graduate. Eventually I may move into large format film photography, but those kits are a little out of reach at the moment, so we’ll see.

Giant Zinnia – Minolta X370 with Kodak Portra 35mm film

No Shit, Sherlock!

The problems of this world have plagued us for millennia, since the earliest civilizations. Why have we not been able to overcome our nature? Why do people still harm one another? We have a lot of laws, but only because people can’t seem to behave themselves. There are laws against the obvious: murder, assault, robbery. There are also laws pertaining to political campaign contributions. There are even regulations about how much caffeine is allowed in a product. Most people who violate the law are doing so intentionally. Of course there are “crimes of passion“, those that were committed without premeditation. But what makes someone make that choice?

Sherlock Holmes, the storied detective invented by Arthur Conan Doyle, has been the model of modern crime-solvers for more than a century now. Doyle’s expert investigator used his peculiar deductive skills to ultimately finger the one who did it, how or when the crime was committed and expertly connecting the dots to assemble the full picture. Holmes would invariably identify the culprit by using his powers of deduction, aided by his companion, Dr. Watson. These stories, beginning with A Study in Scarlet, told of the intellect and superior reasoning of the detective. But Holmes solved the crimes; he didn’t seem to be concerned about preventing them.

Crime dramas have been around a long time, and they became slightly more sophisticated over the years. Television shows like Law & Order and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and many, many more brought us compelling story lines demonstrating how the police detectives used their wits and technology to solve crimes. Sometimes a show would portray the hunt for the killer, hopefully catching him before he would strike again. But for the most part the program would focus on catching the criminal, usually red-handed, or by forcing a “witness box confession” à-la Perry Mason. Television would cement the idea in our minds that crimes would be solved neatly, that justice was swift and uncomplicated. Crooks would confess, or evidence was unassailable. In the real world, however, we realize things are never that simple.

Why do we rely on police and courts so much to hand out justice rather than work to prevent crimes from happening in the first place? I realize this is a never-ending struggle; that people are going to commit transgressions against other people, or against the public trust, regardless of what we do. In the States we were introduced to McGruff the Crime Dog in the 1980s. The National Crime Prevention Council created public service messages to educate people on how to “take a bite out of crime”, things like locking doors and concealing valuables. We learned that if we took steps to not be targets of crime, being less conspicuous or less attractive targets, as if the victim was somehow responsible. Since then I think the messages still appear, though not the cheesy, cartoonish public service announcement. Still, it’s not a bad idea to lock your car and remove or hide anything of value. Every night we make our rounds, making sure doors and windows are locked, and checking that the car is in the garage with that door secured. I was standing outside one morning at 2:19 when I noticed a couple of guys making their way up our street, checking car doors for any that were unlocked. I gathered they were looking for anything they could pinch, and 2:19 seemed like a good time to do it. I work at night sometimes, and I occasionally step outside to look at the stars and planets (by the way, Saturn and Jupiter will be in a great conjunction on 21 December). I reached for my mobile and dialed the police, quietly. The would-be thieves noticed the light on my screen, and they quickly yet calmly past my house on the other side of the street. Later the police cruised by with the same degree of nonchalance, but I never heard whether they were apprehended. I guess my main concern is that these hooligans were causing trouble in the first place. Yes, I was up in the middle of the night, but I live here. Someone taking a walk through my neighborhood when everyone else is asleep is probably up to something. What would make a person decide to resort to crime?

Preventing crimes from happening is wise, and it doesn’t have to be very complex. But really preventing a crime from happening might mean focusing on why people commit them in the first place. Why do people assault one another or steal from others? Why do some want to take advantage of those who cannot protect themselves? Prisons are full of people who have done horrible things, but many were locked up for possessing a small amount of vegetable matter. Some states have legalized personal consumption of cannabis, but it is still illegal in neighboring states. The other day, the US House of Representatives voted to decriminalize recreational use of marijuana. It’s not likely to be passed by the Senate, but it seems like just a formality at this time. Maybe we can end the incarceration of many people who aren’t really criminals. Once in prison it is likely that someone might leave in a worse state. Prisons in the US are not in the business of rehabilitating criminals, and drug abusers probably shouldn’t be locked up anyway.

Looking for ways to steer people away from a life of crime might be a better use of resources than simply locking them up after the fact. Entire fields of study are dedicated to the criminal mind and the causes of crime. Articles and papers have addressed the causes of this type of behavior, and I would like to think with more time and study the mental health community might come to some conclusions, or at least a solid theory. Until then we must continue to do what we can to protect ourselves from becoming victims of crimes, and to work with people to address the situations arising that lead one to cross that line. Oftentimes young people are working out their place in the world, and they make mistakes. But without opportunities for improving one’s outlook, the life of crime can seem attractive. It is a sad reality. I used to ask rhetorically, “how hard can it be to stay out of trouble?” Apparently it is impossible for some because they see no alternative.

Education and opportunity would be one answer, I believe. Some places have higher crime rates than others. St. Louis, Missouri, Detroit, Michigan, and Baltimore, Maryland usually rank at or near the top. The mitigating circumstances may figure into these statistics. Detroit has suffered an economic meltdown over the past 12 years, starting with the 2008 Great Recession, when the US auto industry nearly collapsed. Flint’s water crisis, and a continuing decline of the Detroit metropolitan area contributed to the decline. Lack of opportunity means lack of choices. People make poor choices when there are only bad ones available. Food deserts appear where public transportation is unreliable or unavailable, and there are no proper supermarkets within walking distance. Therefore the only choices are fast food or convenience store fare. Lack of options leads to poor health; and, what affects the body will ultimately affect the mind. Unhealthy people can demonstrate poor judgement. And the cycle begins.

Solving a big problem like preventing crime is daunting. Police are overwhelmed in some areas, and people can make terrible decisions, even cops. Police make mistakes, but there is no justifiable defense for citizens in the way we can legally defend ourselves against an assailant. Therefore, the police have to take extra care in approaching a situation, something they are trained for. In the UK very few officers carry firearms. I doubt this could work in the States, but perhaps it’s worth looking into. The biggest problem with this is Texas and other states that allow – really, they encourage – citizens to arm themselves. It seems everyone has a gun. Sending an office armed only with mace, a baton, and a stun gun may put her at a significant disadvantage, because it is assumed someone at the scene might be armed, and every firearm is presumed to be loaded until verified otherwise. From my perspective there is no way to reduce gun violence without getting rid of guns. And no one will give up their weapons voluntarily. The United States knows violence. We are saturated in it. We see it in films and television, on video games, and quite prolifically online. Does exposure to violent images lead to more violence? (If you care to study the wealth of research be my guest.) The debate will continue for as long as video games and violence still exist.

We may never get to the bottom of what makes someone cross the line. It seems we haven’t made much progress in answering this question, but we can solve crimes more efficiently now than Sherlock could. Finger prints, DNA, and other forensic measures are effective, but deduction is also still a powerful tool. If we can apply the same power of the human brain to find solutions to the causes of our aberrant behavior, I think we will have reached another level in human development, perhaps another stage in evolution, where there is no violence and no greed, no need to harm one another, and no desire for it. We might build a world that is free of prisons, where each of us treats one another in a way we would want to be treated, and we would want to be respected and cherished and valued. Why would anyone not want to see that world?

Offense

Practically everyone takes offense from time to time. I am not easily offended, but I have my limits. Others seem to be offended at the slightest transgression, like someone not moving fast enough in traffic, or the price of petrol going up by a penny. I find myself taking offense (or sometimes, offence), lately when hearing about politics. But I am not talking about the things that really get people’s ire up, particularly the big three: politics, sex, and religion. That said, I remember a business lunch where one of my co-workers opened the conversation with some one-liner about Hillary Clinton, a group of Catholic women, and some vibrators.

The remarkable thing about that moment was that I wasn’t offended in the least. I was embarrassed, because I knew he was trying to get some reaction from the stodgy audience. I imagine some of them were offended, not recognizing his effort at humor. Our manager kind of ignored that and began making introductions.

It’s kind of odd to me that sex, politics, religion, guns, and race are such taboo subjects for “polite company”, as they used to say. I understand the desire for such censure. But we all have these in common. All of us come from some ethnic and racial background of some sort. I went to Catholic school as a child, but I have begun learning more about Buddhism. And I vote for whomever I believe would be the better choice in elections, regardless of party affiliation. We all come from different places, and we have all had our own unique life experiences that have helped shape our perspectives.

But what is it about certain topics that makes us more defensive? Why are we angered more about one thing than another? For instance, some of us are affected by what others say about us. This was a real problem for me growing up, and when I was having trouble with a bully, people used to ask, “why do you let him get to you?” Well, I can say that at the time I wasn’t in control of my emotions. That takes discipline unless you have a natural tendency for being more regulated. It didn’t help that my parents divorced when I was quite young. Thus, there I was, being strongly affected by words spoken to and about me. You know, it’s not true what they say about sticks and stones. Words do hurt.

Sometimes people are offended by the strangest things. I have a friend who loves talking about the idea of a flat earth. He doesn’t really believe the conspiracy theories, but he enjoys reading about the outlandish concepts. When several of us get together he likes to bring up the latest in the ongoing, never-ending parade of anecdotes. One of the others in the group argues with him, but he gets visibly upset and flustered. It’s obvious that he is offended by such thinking. These discussions usually end in silence because we know how upset that friend can get. Lately we don’t talk about the flat earth, even though that first guy only enjoys exploring these ideas, and he doesn’t subscribe to their thinking. Why would the idea of a flat earth be so offensive to some? Well, I can understand that a little. To me it’s about feeling that someone is attacking us for our beliefs or something else we hold dear. For those who take offense about flat-earthers, it’s as if they are assaulting their village, coming in the night with torches. It can feel like a real, almost existential threat.

In reality some information would have little or no bearing on our lives. Whether or not the earth is round makes no difference to how we go about our daily existence. We are – most of us – all stuck here on this planet, until Elon Musk figures out how to send people to Mars. And even then, our individual perceptions of our universe will have no effect on anyone, unless you decide you want to teach children about how we all live on a disc at the center of the universe. That’s where it does get dangerous.

I had a teacher in religious classes – when I was impressionable but not so young that I was entirely naïve – who told our class that rock music was the devil. Any music, he maintained, that motivated you to tap your foot or make you want to dance was, well, evil. I went away from that particular lesson imagining how evil Handel’s Messiah was, considering I tapped my foot to it on occasion (I am a classical music nerd). I enjoyed a lot of different types of music, including big band and other instrumental music. How wicked could it be? Was my teacher therefore wrong about that, and thus perhaps wrong about other things? I started to question everything. And I became very skeptical by the time I graduated from high school.

I believe this was the beginning for me when I began learning how to not be offended by things. It has taken me decades to get where I am now, and the current pandemic, and its subsequent lock-down, has allowed me time to reflect. But somewhere along the way I know I changed. I remember when I stopped being affected by bad drivers and the insanity of freeway driving. Then I learned how to let things move past me like leaves drifting on the surface of a stream. A meditation app helped me to visualize myself in various scenarios like that. It’s hard to isolate any one moment when I might have shifted, or at least begun a transformation. I still get irate when I see stupidity in action. I’m still growing, apparently.

What is anger, anyway? Is this some remnant of our primitive ancestral DNA? Our caveman brains still at work fending off outsiders? What good is this ire? We saw angry protesters in the streets in 2020, many about police brutality and racial injustice. Anger also came from the counter-protesters, some of them looking for trouble. I admit I was offended by some of the scenes. I think it would be difficult to find someone who wasn’t affected.

I wish I could live my life never having to be offended by anything. I wonder what that would be like. Would humans lose something if we abandoned our sensibilities? Are we human because of this, what I consider a flaw? Becoming upset about something we have no control over seems futile, but that’s the thing. We have such little control over anything that we’re bound to bring psychology into the mix. We’ll take all the angst about our inability to get what we need or where we want our lives to go, and we’ll turn it against the guy in front of us in traffic, who is, by the way, travelling only as fast as the car in front of him. Passing the next car doesn’t improve things. We get angry about huge geopolitical forces we can’t possible control. We’re angry about people’s sexuality. The way people worship is repugnant to us. We have no say in these matters, so why are we so obsessed with them? And, yes, we can vote, but that really doesn’t change things in the short term.

It’s okay to let go of your anger. We can allow ourselves to not be offended. I have learned to take a breath after being insulted, then come back to the conversation calm and collected. Granted, I still have to hang up on the call sometimes. I’m getting there. After all, I am still a human animal, a victim of my nature. I don’t have the time to study psychology; I feel like that field isn’t quite adequate right now, anyway. I mean, we can label things, behaviors, disorders, etc. But what is anyone doing to really manage the complexity of the human mind? It seems we can’t even agree on whether expressing emotions is healthy. One thing I do know: life is difficult no matter who you are. We’re all susceptible to suffering, and we all want to experience joy. Knowing that, why would anyone wish to deprive a person of happiness? And yet that happens quite a lot.